Sexual addiction isn’t what it seems. For many people addicted to it, it is more about numbing some kind of pain deep inside them rather than it being about getting off. Sex addiction has a sliding scale of severity—sometimes people who just act out will turn to a sex dating site and choose someone for some fun whenever they are going through an emotionally draining time in their life. Others may be addicted to porn and masturbation, or they may have the number of several sex workers in their contact list that they could call up at a moment’s notice.
3 Steps to Overcoming Sex Addiction
While sex addiction is hard to overcome on your own, it can be done. It’ll be hard, that’s for sure, but when you make the decision that you don’t want to put your life at risk anymore, you can begin getting the help you seek, without admitting yourself to an inpatient rehab facility.
1. Confide in someone you trust and tell them the truth.The more secrets we keep to ourselves, the heavier they weigh us down and make us suffer. When sex addicts suffer, that is they are likely to turn to sex to beat back that shame. When a sex addict find someone that they can confide in and tell all their secrets to, they are lifting that burden from their shoulders. They are able to talk about everything and anything that is in their head and finally be free of it all—or at least working toward it.
2. Get support and go to meetings.If you don’t know anyone that you can share that part of yourself with, or if you’re afraid to, don’t think you’re alone. There are groups that can help you deal with your demons. These groups are a lot like AA or NA meetings, as you will listen to other people’s experiences and stories, and you can share your own. When you decide to attend these meetings, there’s a level of accountability that goes along with it. By telling the group how you act out, you might be less inclined to do them again. Why? Because those acts won’t hold the same kind of control over you as they once did. When you talk about your fears, you neutralize them to the point where they aren’t nearly as scary.
3. Form new habits to stop you from acting out.When you start feeling negatively, you’re going to revert to habits that are familiar to you. However, instead of logging on to that dating site or scrolling through your contact list, try doing something else. Maybe you could go for a jog. Maybe you’ll finally organize the closet like you’ve been meaning to. When you recognize the feelings you have before you act out your addiction, you have two choices to make—going down the same path you’ve been down time and time again, or you could choose another path that leads you away from your addiction.
Going Forward From Here
Moving on from your sexual addiction is going to be a life-long struggle, just like any other addiction. And just like those other forms of addiction, you can live a happy and healthy life going forward. It’s going to be a struggle, but when you rely on those three steps mentioned above, you’ll find the road will be a little easier to travel. Your confidant can talk you out of your spiral so you don’t act out. Your meetings can help you remember where you’ve come from and why you don’t want to go back. And those new habits can keep you occupied until the negative feelings go away. Overcoming an addiction to sex isn’t easy, but it can be done.
Alex, online dating specialist. Have degree in Psychology, fields of interpersonal relationships, love, finding a partner are relative to me. I love to study people and communicate with them.