Goal Setting Part 2 - A Template for Success

Goal Setting - Your Success Template - Part Two : Focus Without Stress

If you have helped yourself by completing the first part of the exercise you may be faced with a laundry list of goals and things “ I must do “. Don’t stress yourself .
The Next Step Is Focus
Our brains have a memory list ability – a limited capacity for effective concentration and recall of a task list. For example – can you name the first person to walk on the moon – or the first man to fly the Atlantic? You may know the names Armstrong and Lindberg. Do you know the second person that accomplished those same historic goals ? Not likely.
Less Is More
The reason is that in most lists – and we’ll discuss marketing and your business in another related column - people remember not more than seven to ten names accurately. That is why so many book titles begin “ The Seven Steps To … Wealth, Fame etc. “. Your success at transforming your goals to action to profits and accomplishment are therefore enhanced by actually reducing your goal list . Yes, you can reduce your list while increasing your results .
Analysis not Paralysis
Early in my coaching career I saw that many students or workshop participants became overwhelmed by the amount of material a series of seminars or coaching sessions would bring. A natural tendency – when overwhelmed with information is to withdraw. I was upset to see clients simply put the seminar material on a shelf because they felt there was too much to deal with. I quickly reassured them that all that they had to deal with were three important topics .Take your top ten or whatever number you have in your goal book and just concentrate your efforts on the top three.
Which Three ?
Not all your goals need to be worked on at the same time . In fact that would be next to impossible. It is simple – but not easy to priorize the list – either by numbering them in order of importance to accomplish (for you ) as 1 to 12 or what ever number you have. Then work ONLY on the top three . When one priority goal is either finished or integrated into what you do – cross it off the list and advance the next item into the top three. Note that I said “or integrated into what you do”. By that instruction I mean certain of your goals do not end – for example bring early to all meetings or planning your day the evening prior. However, when such steps are part of your daily routine cross them off the priority list and advance the next item.
You are not abandoning the rest of the list
Given enough time all your list will be addressed in the same fashion we discussed in Part 1 .
In addition to your priority few you may have a number of items you can deal quickly or in between dealing with the top three you identified . Many items – though not a priority may be accomplished quickly. As long as they can be dealt with swiftly this is a great method of accomplishing your goals.. Items such as reducing the amount of time spent on television each day or allowing 30 minutes of reading a day ( the subject of another article) can become part of your routine and stroked off the goal list. That is as they are integrated into your daily routine – they can be crossed off without any need of further examination. This gives you the positive reinforcement of seeing items stroked off as accomplished and at the same time you can visually see the goal list reduced. You subconsciously sense relieve as the list shrinks and more effort is available for the ( fewer and more important ) items. You also see and feel the success of having goals accomplished. This positive reinforcement encourages you to stay with that list and working on your priorities.
A Self- Directed Model
The goal of the exercise or therapy is to help you make better decisions and once the decision was made and that particular goal accomplished- a better habit has been formed . Our work together is all about identifying what might be holding you back and choosing to act on better alternatives. Your conclusions are self-directed . This is the model I follow You are not left alone to do the analysis but you are absolutely free to decide if you wish to chose and follow alternatives to the way you are presently acting. For additional discussion on these methods you can read the work of Egan in “ The Skilled Helper “.
There is a temptation amongst counselors – to assume they were skilled in that analysis and therefore could make the choices for clients. An opposing school believes the clients are to be left unguided to make the appropriate analysis and choices. My experience led me to a three tier approach of:
1) providing the information
2) providing alternate choices and then
3) support what the client had decided were the areas they wished to address.

If on the other hand I simply tell you that I have concluded your issue is “ A” and your solution is to follow “ Path X” you will not have done much work to identify your own patterns and you will have done a minimum amount of thinking or experimenting on alternative patterns. Most of us rebel to some extent when some so-called expert informs us – “ you should “ . The greatest benefit is in discovery of your own patterns and in deciding for yourself what alternatives you wish to follow. I cannot direct you to changes no matter how potentially beneficial .If you don’t believe there was an issue problem in the first place you are not going to commit to a change in that same area.
On the other hand if you recognize that in your work/ life you have made poor or unacceptable choices you are motivated to change your patterns. For example if you are withdrawing from your marriage in the sense that you are physically present but emotionally distant and that is causing unwanted strife at home you will be open to change. Those conclusions are life changing. Their importance and commitment to change cannot be because some third party “expert “made the conclusion and suggested the choices for you.

However, you can have professional support at identifying issues that are hidden from you view. In the divorce cases I handled I was witness to many couples whose problems and source of conflict were hidden from their own analysis. They were often too close to or part of the issues and this did not allow them to objectively define or even see the problem..In counseling – unlike divorce proceedings – most couple are interested in an examination of how they are living in order to gain understanding . With that understanding they can gain a viewpoint for examining potential change or alternate choices.
If you have several alternatives begin with the one that appears the most likely or simplest it is often the correct solution ( Occam’s Razor ) .

Evaluation

The choices you have are not written in stone.
Evaluation determines whether you accept the alternate choice on a permanent basis or, make adjustments or look for another choice.
Evaluate the outcome when you have reached your first milestone – that is don’t wait for months to go by before altering or rejecting something that is not working.