When it comes to connecting to other people, our facial expressions play an important role. And like one’s body language and their tone of voice, one is not always aware of how they’re coming across.
Or one might be aware of their body language and their tone of choice, but their facial expressions could be something they’re not focused on. If this is the case, it is going to cause other people to doubt what they are saying.
This is because each part of them needs to be saying the same thing in order for one to come across as congruent, and therefore believable. When this doesn’t happen, other people are going to feel as though something isn’t right or that one is hiding something.
So in order for one to have the effect they want when they’re communicating to another person or to a group of people, it is going to be important each for part of them to be in sync. When each part of them is in harmony, their ability to communicate will improve.
For some people, it might matter how they feel or who they are with, as their face might not change. And if they were playing poker, this would be an asset. However, when it comes to the real world, this is not something that would be described as an asset.
In fact, it could be described as something that is harming one’s ability to be an effective communicator. One might be aware of how they rarely show how they feel or allow the environment around them to influence their facial expression, or it could be something they’re completely unaware of.
Through having a poker face, one is able to experience a sense of control. By not showing how they feel, they are not giving anything away and this means that the people around them are unable read them.
The people around them are not going to be aware of how they feel or what their outlook is, and this then gives one the upper hand. And if one believes that they need to have the upper hand in life and that other people are out to take advantage of them, then having a poker face is essential.
Making A Connection
However, if one not only wants to connect with other people but wants to form deeper connections with people, then it is going to be important for other people to be able to read them. When one doesn’t show how they feel, it can make other people feel uncomfortable.
They might wonder if one can be trusted and it could cause them to feel suspicious. And while there is the chance that other people will take advantage of them for showing how they feel, by showing how they feel, it is going allow other people to feel more connected to them.
Back And Forth
When one talks to another person, their responses are influenced by the other person’s facial expressions. The other person’s facial expressions could even end up defining how one behaves and what they talk about.
This is often something that takes place unconsciously, and this means that one is not always aware of how the other person is affecting then. But even though they might not be aware, it is still going to shape their outlook of the other person and therefore their behaviour towards them.
During certain situations, it might be important for one to hide how they feel. If one is in a dangerous situation, where their life is under threat, it might be best for them to have a poker face.
But when one is meeting new people or on a date for instance, being emotionally expressive will allow the other person to know where they stand and it will give them the chance to develop an emotional connection.
This doesn’t mean that one need’s to smile all the time or that they always need to be animated; it can just mean that one allows themselves to reveal how they feel. If this is something one doesn’t usually do, it is likely to feel uncomfortable at first.
One approach is for one to observe other people and to see how they express themselves in different situations. Through this, one will be able to model what they see and to develop their own ability to be emotionally expressive.
Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."
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