Just because someone is talking to another person, it doesn’t mean that they are actually aware to what is being communicated. Physically they are there and this is visible to the other person and to anyone else that is around them and yet emotionally and mentally they could be somewhere else.
Their focus could be on what they are going to be doing later that day, what their plans are for the weekend or they could simply be having an inner discussion about what is being said and how they view it.
And there is going to be different degrees to this. On one side there is the chance that someone could have completely checked out. And on the other side, they might have lost their concentration, but only slightly, and not enough for another person to notice.
When someone has completely checked out, the impact that this has is generally going to be far greater than if their concentration has slightly dropped. It will also depend on who someone is talking to and what their expectations are, as to how they interpret another person’s absent mindedness.
To be talking to another person who is doesn’t seem to be interested in what one has to say is going to lead to certain consequences. These could change and are not always going to apply, but there is as strong chance that they will appear.
This could cause someone to end up feeling: disrespected, unimportant, ignored, rejected, worthless and invisible. And they could come to the conclusion that this person is: ignorant, rude, uninterested and aloof, amongst other things.
And the context that one is in will often define how they feel. For example, if one was talking to their partner and they checked out, one is likely to have a stronger reaction.
This is because they are likely to have more of an emotional connection to them. If this happened with someone who worked in a shop, it is not likely to be the same, as there wouldn’t be an emotional connection.
Another area where one’s ability to be present is going to have an impact is on their career. If one has an interview or is speaking to potential clients and they appear vacant, it is not going to create a good impression. Even if one already has a job and has no shortage of clients for instance, there is still likely to be consequences.
In these kinds of environments, one could come across as not wanting to work there and as being disrespectful. And when it relates to clients or customers, they could come to believe that they are not welcome and that the business they bring is not appreciated either.
But while some people can disconnect from the present moment on purpose and because they have no interest in the other person or what is being said, it could also be a habit that they have.
So they are not intentionally being disrespectful, it is just something that happens. However, no matter whether this happens consciously or unconsciously, it is something that is going to inhibit ones chances of making a good impression when it comes to meeting new people and on maintaining a good impression with the people they already know.
This doesn’t mean that one always needs to be present or that it’s even possible to be. At times one will be tired or have no interested in what is being said. But when it comes to other times, it will be important that they maintain their concentration.
Not only can one make a better first impression or a good impression in general, there is also going to be the chance that they will remember more of what the other person has said. If one is not present, it is going to be harder to remember what another person was talking about.
And when one doesn’t remember, the other person might not form a good opinion or they could end up pulling away completely. At times this won’t matter, but at others times, the consequences could be severe.
So this could be a gradual process and something that takes a while to become part of who one is. Phones are a common way that people check out and if one uses their phone around others, it could be a challenge to put it away and to stay focused on another.
However, being aware of something is often the first step when it comes to change. And when the desire is there, it won’t be long until being present becomes natural.
Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."
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