Just because someone can start a conversation, it doesn’t mean that they find it easy to keep one going. And while some people can keep a conversation going, they might find it hard to start one.
There will then be others who have no trouble starting them and keeping them going. However, when one finds it difficult to start a conversation, it would be easy to come to the conclusion that the people who can have something they don’t.
One’s mind can come up with all kinds of reasons as to why other people can start conversations and they can’t. Other people can be seen as possessing things that one doesn’t have. And not only can this relate to how one currently is, but how one will always be.
Based on this outlook, it is not going to be possible for one to be able to do what other people do. Not only is this outlook going to affect ones confidence, it also far from the truth.
On The Sidelines
If one was to believe that they were different, it would be normal for them to feel as though they are on the sidelines in life and are unable to get involved. One could end up not only admiring what other people, but they could even end up putting them on a pedestal.
A Different Approach
But while others may look different and appear to possess things that one doesn’t believe they have, inherently, there is no difference. What is different is what these people do and this is something that one can learn.
So one could play close attention to what others do, and through time, they will gradually begin to behave in the same ways. This can be through one consciously picking up on what other people do and through unconsciously absorbing what they do.
For some people this will work and yet, it can problem when one doesn’t know what to focus on or what they are looking for.
Having the ability to start conversations is something that is going to enhance one’s life in many ways. It won’t matter where one is; there is always going to be the chance that this need will arise. So whether one is in a business environment, out socialising or wanting to talk to the opposite sex, it won’t have to be a problem.
This doesn’t mean that one will always know what to say though, as there are going to be times when one feels tired, indifferent or even fearful. But this is more likely to be the exception than the rule; whereas for people who have no idea how to start conversations, it is likely to be the rule.
What Is The Right Thing To Say?
So when it comes to starting conversations with others, one might wonder what exactly they should say. And through having this question, one can end up looking for the perfect things to say. If they say the right things, the rest will follow and they will soon be having a conversation.
But while having the perfect things to say may work, there are going to be challenges. Firstly, not every situation is going to be the same and secondly, one doesn’t want to turn into a robot.
We are all creatures of habit, and so there are going to be words and phrases we use all the time. But if everything that one says is rehearsed and memorised, it is not going to come across as natural and it might not have any relevance to the situations that one finds themselves in.
Having something planned to say may help someone who is just starting to develop the ability to start conversations, but there are other things that they can do. And there are at least three things that one can utilise to start a conversation and this is something that everyone can do.
Starting A Conversation
Each and every one of us has the ability to make observations, statements and assumptions. So when one comes across someone they want to talk to, they can place their attention on what is going on in moment.
Here, they will see things and based on what they see, there will be plenty to talk about. This could result in one asking another person a question about what they see, or they could just make a statement about what they have observed and see if the other person’s interest has been piqued
And if one can’t find anything to talk about in the moment, they could just make an assumption. This could have nothing to do with what is taking place, but what is taking place could remind them of something else.
In the beginning one might find that they don’t notice anything and this is normal. One’s mind will need to change its point of focus and as this takes place, one will begin to notice things.
The mind only sees what it has been programmed to see, so once one looks for things to comment on, they will gradually begin to find them.
Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."
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