While someone might want to be approached by others, it doesn’t mean that this actually happens. And if it does happen, it could be something that doesn’t happen enough or in the right situations. This is going to relate to all kinds of scenarios and the primary areas are often to do with ones career and social life.
It could be that one finds themselves being approached routinely in their career and in business settings. But when it comes to their social life, this rarely takes place. And the opposite could also be true; with one having no problem in their social life and yet struggling in career environments. When it comes to the opposite sex for example, one could find that they are never approached.
For the individual who has experienced life in this way for a long time or what seems like their whole life, it would be easy to take it personally. Other people are seen as not being interested or that one is simply not noticed by others.
The reality is that not everyone is going to see one as interesting and neither will they always stand out to everyone they come across. However, this doesn’t mean that one is inherently uninteresting or invisible to everyone on the planet.
It is easy to take things personally in life and to believe that there is something wrong with who one is. Especially if one feels that they are constantly being ignored or overlooked in life.
Whether one is routinely approached by others or if they are typically ignored, it is not something that is personal. So although one can feel a sense of rejection and of not being important, it should not be taken to heart.
Because while it is not personal, it will be due to what this person is or is not doing. At first this may feel like a burden or cause frustration or annoyance, but it means that one has a choice in what is happening to them.
One is not merely a victim of circumstance; they are able to have a big influence in the whole process. How one behaves, thinks and even feels can appear to be who they are and something that is fixed. However, each of these things can be changed when the right information/knowledge is attained and applied with patience and persistence.
While there could be all kinds of reasons why someone is not approachable, there is likely to be certain commonalties. This person is going to give of the message either consciously or unconsciously, that they are not approachable. So their body language , facial expressions and general manner is going to be counterproductive.
How they act could be described as: aloof, distance, shy or even hostile. Perhaps the clothes they wear or their style of hair is off putting and creates distance. Internally, this person might not feel safe with people getting to close to them and so this is the energy or vibe that is being communicated to others.
Other people then don’t need to see this person’s body language or to pay attention to what they are wearing, as they get the sense or impression that they are not to be approached.
If one was to observe someone who does get approached by others either routinely or on the odd occasion, they are likely to notice differences in how this person behaves. Now, some of these differences may be visible to the eye and some won’t.
What can cause problems in noticing these differences is that if one is not approached by others, they may not know what to look for. As if they knew what they were doing wrong, they could make the appropriate changes.
This is likely to be someone who’s body language and facial expressions give off the message that they are open to meeting others. So their arms could be open and their face relaxed and their face would be more likely to give off a smile than a frown. They could be well presented and stand out in what they wear.
What precedes this is what is going on internally and this is where the real power is. It is what defines one’s body language, facial expressions and the kind of energy or vibe that they give off. This is why it can be difficult to notice what they are doing that is different.
Here, one could have the belief that other people want to talk to them, notice them and that they are interesting. There is then the expectation that other people will approach them and this then becomes their experience.
So if being approached by people is a common challenge in one area of one’s life or all areas, it might be enough to change what is going on externally. And for others it could be necessary to dig a little deeper.
Looking at one’s body language, facials expression and what they wear can all make a difference. Questioning ones beliefs about how interesting they are and the kind of expectations they have going on within, can all make a difference. By changing what is going on internally, it will gradually change what is going on externally.
Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."
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