Who under the age of 13 hasn’t had their heart broken by someone breaking up with them? I would venture to say, no one. It happens; usually more than once. But we cannot exist without love. And love does not exist without heartbreak. That’s just the way it is. So . . . someone broke up with you! Now what?
It’s going to suck. The pain will seem unbearable. You’ll shed tears, curse your ex, rehash the break-up, place blame, feel rejected, stop eating, eat too much, watch sad movies, and listen to sad songs. We’ve all been there. Since none of us can avoid the “Break-up Owie,” here are some helpful ways to deal with it:
1. Embrace the pain. Yes, it’s going to hurt a lot, but you have to feel it, and then release it. Don’t close up your heart, and hold onto the pain; it will just rot inside of you like week-old trash. Get it out!
2. Take each day as it comes. Time, The Great Healer, will do its magic, I promise.
3. It’s not the end of the world. It may feel like it is, but it’s not. You’ll be fine. Give yourself a lot of love; you deserve it. One day you’ll look back and be grateful because you ended up with someone who reciprocates your love.
4. Surround yourself with supportive family members and friends. They’re a balm for your broken spirit.
5. Learn to feel okay being alone. Don’t try to immediately find a replacement. There’s a reason why the relationship broke up. Explore the whys. Is there something on which you can work? Take the time to become the best You! Don’t wallow in self-pity; you’ll just spiral downward, and it will be harder to get back up.
6. Forgive your ex. If they were terrible to you, then be glad they left. You deserve better. If they were good, remember . . . people fall out of love, change their minds. Hating them forever won’t do you any good.
7. Don’t play the blame game; it’s one you’re sure to lose. After it’s over, it doesn’t matter who’s at fault. Usually both partners had a hand in the break-up. One of them may not have been as clued-in.
Break-ups are never easy, even if they’re mutual. It is the death of something that was at one point good. And that part will be missed. Remember, all relationships end, either because of a break-up or a death . You must carry on. Eventually everything will be okay again. You’ll laugh, watch funny movies, and resume going out. All you need is a little TLC. Give it to yourself, and gratefully take it from others.
Rossana Snee is a Marriage & Family Therapist. She has worked with individuals, couples, and families. Her present focus, however, is working with young women in their 20s, specifically 21 - 26. She facilitates a monthly group called An Afternoon With Josh's Mom, whereby she guides, empowers, and promotes self-love. Her goal is to provide these young women with the guidance to make decisions in their best interest.
Visit her at askjoshsmom.com, https://www.facebook.com/askjoshsmom , and Twitter (@askjoshsmom). She endeavors to inspire and motivate, and to be a springboard for her reader's self-growth.