Be Your Own Mojo Maker

When we lose our “mojo” and self-confidence is not only painful, but it can keep us stuck in a fearful and emotionally uncomfortable place. “Mrs. Doubtyourself” is the name I give that voice in your head that is your voice of doubt. If you listen to it, it will keep you stuck, scared and keep you from moving forward. It is important to identify it for what it is, push it aside, and let your confident voice take over. Once you know the enemy (Mrs. Doubtyourself) you can more easily defeat it. It is paramount to understand that this voice speaks to everyone, as we all have self-doubt.

When we lose our self-confidence it is helpful to try to pinpoint exactly when and why it happened. It could be as a writer you got a rejection letter, or didn’t get the job you wanted, or you got fired. It is very important to be honest with yourself, take full responsibility for any part you had in something being less than successful. Listen carefully to yourself, if you do you will probably hear how hard you are on yourself. Most of us are down right mean to ourselves. We say things to ourselves that we would never say to someone else. It’s one thing to explore the different ways you could have handled certain situations, and quite another to verbally abuse yourself. The collateral damage of negative self talk is, the loss of self-confidence, trepidation about the future, and fear of trying for fear of failing.

It is always a good idea to look back and see what you could have done better. The way we win, is to learn when we lose. We all have a loud voice “Mrs. Doubtyourself” and a softer voice “Ms. Self-assured”. We have to understand that we believe our own voice and believe it speaks the truth, when in fact it is not. It is simply the voice of our greatest insecurity and fear.

One way to listen to quiet Mrs. Doubtyourself, is to take stock of our personal assets and inventory of our successes and triumphs. We certainly need to be accountable for our actions and choices, but we do ourselves a great disservice when we only see the mistakes we’ve made, and live with regret instead of hope. It takes courage not to default into mentally and emotionally beating ourselves up. When we do that, we see ourselves as powerless against our perceived inadequacies. It is much more beneficial if we examine different ways we could have handled situations, and work on better strategies in the future.

Building self-confidence can be done by simply tracking and embracing the smallest of every day successes. If we examine and acknowledge the obstacles and adversity we’ve overcome in the past, it will serve to make us feel competent, capable and confident. That is why we have to be careful of what we say to ourselves, because what we say is what we believe and what we become. We will be both a casualty of our negative thoughts, and the beneficiary of our most positive thoughts! So listen and be mindful to what you are saying to yourself. Your words and thoughts are your power and they can help or hurt you.

Watch your Thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits . Watch your Habits , for they become character.
Watch your Character, for it becomes your Destiny.
Frank Outlaw