“She can’t possibly be that smart, she’s too pretty.” “He’s too old to think he can do that.” “She wasn’t raised to really work.” “Doesn’t he know that he’s handicapped; there’s no way he’ll be able to get there.” “My years won’t let me try that.” “I’ll stand out too much if I do or say that.”
These are all closing statements. Opinions, decided without any information, often even without a word spoken. You sometimes don’t even know that you are being challenged or denied opportunities. Observations, spoken and definitive, made before “knowing” the person. Are you intuitively feeling these thoughts from others? This is about living your life; you get to decide and chose those who will be supportive of you. You don’t have time for anything else.
Are these thoughts coming from you? Are you the person who is at the root of these limiting statements? Are you the one who is judging before being allowed to really show who you are and what you are capable of? Whether it’s at work, with a family project, a volunteer opportunity or just something fun that you’d like to try, what do you do about challenging these restrictive thoughts?
It’s for you to decide in your heart what you want to try to do. You make up your mind how hard you want to work at defining what success is for you and how you’re going to reach those goals. You dedicate the time, you create the opportunities, you jump in with both feet, if that’s what feels right. Life is about living. It’s about staying in the game. It’s about being a part of the solution; remaining connected to a bigger world. It’s about staying active, for as long as you can.
The forest for the trees? Choose the forest and you can work out the trees. Keep the bigger picture in front of you; the details of how, the challenges of why, the voices that say you can’t or that are fearful and tentative; move through and beyond these. Live by your own heart and not by the perceptions of others. If your heart says you can, you’ll figure out a way. Life is about opportunity and memories. Go for it!
Carolyn Bates is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Certified Personal Life Coach specializing in successful life transitions and retirement for Baby Boomers and people 50+. She is recognized as a Professional Personal Life Coach, Author, Published Writer, Group & Workshop Leader. Coaching Life Design writes a monthly newsletter, has an interactive website and continually creates and offers teleclasses focused on the challenges of creating the life you want.