Keeping Your Family Life Healthy

It is very easy to become wrapped up in the hectic world around us, and unfortunately sometimes our family life suffers from it. Keep the following tips in mind to maintain a functional, strong family .

Strive For Strong Family Values

These days, a person’s word and handshake do not mean much. Most of us do not trust people’s commitment and honesty anymore. Nowadays we have to have everything in writing and every contract must be reviewed by lawyers. We have to guard our credit cards and we have to take a lot of precautions. And why is this? People are not very honest in general any longer. People learn these values of honesty, respect, and generosity at home and it seems that the majority of homes are not accomplishing this. We need to revive it.

As parents, we need to teach our children to be honest in all situations. These days most of us hear someone promise something and we just say to ourselves, "Yeah, right." That is because most do not do what they say that they are going to do. We need to always teach our children to follow through on their commitments and stick to them no matter how hard things get.

There was also a time when children did not speak to adults unless they were spoken to. While this may seem harsh and it would not even begin to work today, it was not really a bad value to instill in a child. Children should be taught that when an adult is speaking, they should automatically be given the floor because they are in actuality elders and know much more than the children. Usually, the adults are instructing the children and any child who cannot respect the adult is probably not listening to instructions.

Generosity needs to be taught in the home as well. We need to teach our children that if we have the ability to give then we should help those in need. By the same token, we should teach our children how to be aware of those who are trying to fool us that they are in need but really are not. That value is the value of prudence or being alert to those who may not be so honest with us.

Honesty, respect and generosity...all these values start at home.

What Makes a Healthy, Strong Family

Families can be either functional or dysfunctional. While from the outside a family may look functional it really may not be the case at all. If you were to be a fly on the wall in the house of a dysfunctional family then you would see some of the things that make the family that way. You would see children arguing with their parents over even the slightest request of them to do something. You would see a husband throwing his weight around and belittling his wife and making her feel inferior to him. You would see grandparents interfering with the way the parents are raising the children. This should not be so and a healthy family takes measures to prevent these from happening.

Families that are functional have parents who treat their children kindly but demand that they comply with their instructions and that the children respect those older than them as well as authorities. The children are taught and understand that since their parents are responsible for them then they need to follow their guidance. Children have a voice in the family. They are allowed to give their opinions on family matters but they understand and accept that their parents’ have the final word.

Healthy families are run by parents and not by grandparents. Grandparents mean well but do not always uphold the same standards on their grandchildren that they upheld on their own children. Grandchildren quickly become spoiled because of all the pampering they receive from their grandparents. Then, after this has happened, they don’t listen to their parents well.

The relationship of the husband and wife is of utmost importance to the functioning of a healthy family. They should be on equal footing. They each should share household chores. Neither one should put himself or herself on a higher level than the other. Both should have respect for each other and keep their disputes away from the sight of their children.

Sound Advice from Our Elders

That said, the role of the grandparents in family life is still quite important. When we become adults and leave the security of our homes, we are overjoyed with our new independence and the fact that we can now make our own decisions and choose our own paths. At first it’s great and we may not have many problems for the first few years. But rest assured that we are going to have problems down the road. And most of our problems are yet to come and when they come, it will be a brand new experience for which we may end up having to grope for solutions or answers. This is why it is always a good idea to have the phone number of our parents, grandparents or an older relative at hand should the need to call them for advice arise.

We need not be afraid or ashamed to ask our elders for advice. In fact, most of the time they would be honored that we called them and respected their opinion. Most young adults forget that our elders have been through many, if not all, of life’s struggles and difficulties. They have also been through most of the life-changing events as well. They have been through marriages, divorces, deaths in the family, job loss, and you name it. Their advice is very valuable -- especially if they survived the ordeal.

Of course some of us will foolishly not call our elders for advice and end up having to learn some very hard lessons. In fact, we might be facing a very tough problem and instead call our friend who is the same age as we are and has never been through the problem either for advice. What kind of advice is that when we can speak with the one who has lived it?

So we have, in a way, "expert" advice just a phone call away. And long distance phone calls are so inexpensive these days that it is a very wise decision to seek our elders’ advice regardless of where we may be.

Take the reigns and use this advice to be sure your family maintains both healthy values and healthy lives on a daily basis.