***How Hard Is It To Become A Skilled Empath?

Somewhere between "too easy" and "too hard" lies the truth. Yet consistently I find empaths who don't understand what is involved in becoming a skilled empath.

Consequently, they try too hard, making life way more complicated than it needs to be. Or else they assume that the skills needed are way too easy.

If you look at my blog to see the photos that accompany this article, you'll find two very different aura photos.

The first shows me after doing an empathic merge as a skilled empath. My partner for this exercise , Hyun Martin, has studied spiritual practices for many years. (That includes studying with me to become a skilled empath.)

It's fascinating to use aura photos to document empath-merges. A skilled empath can shift from being herself/himself to directly experiencing what it is like to be someone else.

That's when you turn your gifts ON purposely, using a dedicated technique like those taught in my how-to book, "Empowered by Empathy."

It's a big contrast to see the aura photo taken right before I merged with Hyun.

Aura photo comparisons like these demonstrate that empath-merges are real. To change your aura to the extent that it brings up completely different colors and structures is a big deal.

Of course, empath-merges are also huge fun and a deep way to learn about others, for your greater wisdom and also for service. If you're an empath who studies healing, for the sake of helping others, it's especially important for you to become a skilled empath.

Yet the bigger need of any empath is to learn how to turn your gift(s) OFF most of the time. And that's where unskilled empaths tend to do either too little or too much, producing fewer results than they know either way.

If you've been struggling with being "too sensitive" or "taking on other people's pain" be sure to read what follows. Can you find yourself here?

DOING TOO MUCH

Many an unskilled empath is in the masonry business without knowing it. I'm talking WALLS, WALLS, WALLS.

It's common advice, isn't it? You may have tried one of these versions of putting up walls:

•Toughen up.
•Don't show others how sensitive you are.
•For crying out loud, don't let people get to you!
•Choose a sophisticated image for yourself and project THAT.
•Swirl protective white light around you, to separate yourself from others.
•Make the visualized white light around you extra fancy by giving it mirrors, so naughty energies will bounce back to hurt the naughty people who send it. Now that's protection!
•Imagine a protective wall around you.
•Imagine or visualize a facade. The thicker the facade, the better your protection.
•Imagine a cute little glass case over your head, something that could be used in a deli to display sample cubes of cheese.

Just joking about that last one.

Doing an empath-merge with someone who puts up walls, know what you're going to find?

•In any chakra databank worth reading, you will find gifts of the soul plus the empath's own personal STUFF (e.g., problems related to cords of attachment, frozen blocks of energy).
•Then you'll find STUFF belonging to others, because that's what unskilled empaths habitually do. They pick up STUFF from others constantly, taking it into their own auras for short-term or long-term storage.
•And finally, like the cherry on the ice cream sundae, you'll find that empath's collection of walls.

Walls NEVER keep out STUFF. They just help the empath feel that he/she is doing something useful. But this is a kind of busywork with a nasty side effect. It makes it hard for other people to get to know you.

Ironically, the people who succeed best at putting up walls will succeed at this: coming across to others as phony.

DOING TOO LITTLE

At the extreme opposite of effort, unskilled empaths sometimes expect all they need is one smart little bit of advice, something like Heloise Hints for the Soul.

I'll receive emails, or read comments elsewhere on the Net, like this:

"I've struggled so hard against taking on other people's fear and pain. This has been a lifelong problem. My life is flaming around me in ruins, and the suffering is choking my life day by day, like a hideous plant with growing tentacles. Please, tell me in 25 words or less, exactly how to fix this."

First, it's my ethical responsibility to remind you that becoming a skilled empath can make a night-and-day difference for quality of life. BUT someone whose life is flaming around in a heap of mixed metaphors... may suffer from plenty of problems that have nothing directly to do with being an empath.

For some folks today, unfortunately, "empath" has become a catch-all expression like "psychic attack" or "psychic vampire" or "narcissist" that, supposedly, places blame where it belongs (usually on other people) and instantly cures all ills.

Taking this easy way out is a prime example of doing too little. Instead, consider a session of emotional and spiritual healing with a skilled practitioner.

Second, you need to know that becoming a skilled empath is... a skill! It's like learning to drive a car. How much help will it be for someone to tell you:

"All you need do is turn the key in the ignition, pull up the brake, put the car into gear, drive, avoid killing yourself, and then stop driving when you're finished."

You wouldn't dream of considering words like these sufficient instruction for you to now get beyond that potentially deadly ton of metal and drive it.

Yet many hopeful empaths-in-waiting figure that they can do the equivalent to become skilled empaths.

If it works for you, here's all you need to know in 25 words or more (38) about becoming skilled as an empath:

"Learn about your gift(s). Turn them OFF most of the time. Turn them ON only when you choose to, on purpose, and do it in such a way that you are protected from taking on other people's STUFF."

WHAT REALLY WORKS

To learn my system of Empath Empowerment will take just a bit of time. If you're good at learning from books (either print or audiobook, because I've developed both) you're in luck. (If you don't like learning from books , no shame there. See the list of links below for alternatives or supplements.)

Readers, all you'll need is "Empowered by Empathy" and some time. Maybe this much:

•Know how long it takes to get a professional manicure + pedicure? Maybe five of these.
•Do you do a thorough job when you wash and wax your car? Maybe four of these.
•Have a big lawn to mow? Maybe seven of these.

Your actual mileage per minute may vary but the point is that becoming a skilled empath will not take nearly as much time as putting up walls every day of your life. Still, some time will be needed.

Go through the book and actually DO the exercises in it. There's a great quote in Donna Eden's magnificent new book, " Energy Medicine for Women," that applies perfectly:

"Yes, sad but true. If you just read about the techniques and don't do them, the book will still be informative, and there is value in that, but it will be a little like hoping you will lose weight by putting the diet book under your pillow instead of doing the diet ."