***Hiding From Myself

I’ve been on an amazing self-exploration for the past few weeks, and in the midst of metamorphosis, it was hard to know what to write. I’ll start with the present and then flash back to last fall. Currently I am 22 pounds lighter than I was just a few weeks ago. All of my clothes that fit then hang on me now. Not to worry, I won’t go unclothed because I had a lot of standbys waiting because of my recurring promise. “I’ll lose weight some day and will be able to wear you again!” Along with the pounds and the inches that melted away, my self-doubt disappeared. So did my disappointment in myself. I feel reborn, emerging from a pile of fat to embrace life with happiness and vigor. I think more clearly, sleep better, and believe in myself more than ever in my life!

Now that’s saying something, especially when I compare how I feel now with how I felt last fall. There was a point when I stopped almost all of my activities because they weren’t satisfying me. I said I was like a fallow field waiting to see what would appear to engage me. To be honest, I was giving up. For one thing, I had gained back almost all the weight I had painstakingly lost two years before. I remember thinking, “No food plan works. I am supposed to be this size and I will die never having the body I have wished for.” Mostly it was a healthy body I was hoping for, one that could hike up hills without fear of a lung explosion. I was afraid to see a doctor who was part of a health plan that would claim a pre-existing condition: obesity (I like to think it was just overweight), high blood pressure (but nothing losing 10 pounds wouldn’t cure), maybe diabetic, maybe with heart disease, maybe with a number of things that “run in my family ” but that I hadn’t been diagnosed with.

In addition to all that negative medical mental chatter I was working hard to not even acknowledge to myself, I had given up on me. The me who can do anything I put my mind to. I gave up on her. The me who is vivacious, outgoing, and determined to make a difference in the world. I gave up on her, too. I was secretly hoping for a miracle but not really expecting one to happen. Lucky me. Lucky you. Someone called me to tell me about the miracle that would turn my life around. If you want more information about this program, send me email or call me at 510-548-2585.

Just as in the story of Michelangelo chipping away the marble to find the David inside – I let go of a lot of fat to find that Jacquie was really still in there, and I’m only a little over a third of the way to my revised goal. (When I realized how successful this program is, I decided to go for the numbers I really wanted rather than what I’d settle for.) Instead of being just healthy, I decided on shapely too!

Is it hard? Not really. Does it take will power? Rarely. Do I fantasize about the food I’m not eating anymore? Actually, I’m not. I’ve developed a whole new outlook on food and a realization of where I went wrong in my previous healthy diet that included an over-indulgence in healthy fats.

Here’s the coachly lecture, the Chocolate Coach lecture, if you will. You’ve heard this from me before: Your thoughts create your feelings that determine your actions, which create your results. So how have I changed my thoughts about food? The food has done it. John Gray, the Mars and Venus guy, explains how the nutrients in the program provide the amino acids the brain needs to create a sense of well-being and stave off hungry thoughts. This allows us to literally change our thoughts and therefore, to act differently! I am so grateful to the formulators of the products that have brought me back to life! Every day, I look at the ingredients and say, “I can’t believe they put all these great things in here!” It feels like a miracle. I love it. We can expect miracles !