How many times do you find yourself saying “I should”? Maybe the better question is how many times do you find that you actually follow through on that “I should”? Well, don’t fret, a simple change is all it may take for you to change that should into a did.
I would like you to consider your choice of words as you set out to achieve a new goal or change your behavior . Believe it or not, willpower is often resistance disguised as free will. Resistance is anything that you know you “should” do, but deep down really don’t want to do.
If you find yourself saying “I should get in shape” or “I should organize my financial documents”, then you are exhibiting signs of resistance. This can stop you from actually realizing that goal. Using the phrase “I should” is like telling yourself you “have to” and who likes to be told they “have to” do anything?! Having the frame of mind that you have to do something can limit your chance for success.
When planning to start something new or take on a task you have been avoiding, try adjusting your choice of words. Instead of saying “This year I should (have to)... say “Today, I want to…”. Notice what feelings come up when you replace those phrases with “want to”. Do you notice any negative thoughts? Keep repeating “Today, I want to…” until your mind gives up and fully accepts your commitment. As time passes you will begin to notice how your words can effect your actions and attitude .
As you begin to implement this change put aside your past failures, mistakes, or “should haves”. They are gone. Establishing or renewing your commitments to making a change is a great way to turn your attitude and perspective toward the future and also fuels your motivation for achieving your goals.
Remember, the fact is not that you should but that you want to!!
Doreen holds an MBA and has spent over 18 years working at major corporations and small business in finance and marketing. As a certified professional development coach at Way to Goal! www.waytogoal.com Doreen specializes in helping committed professionals find careers that are both personally and financially rewarding. Copyright 2008 Doreen Amatelli. All Rights Reserved.