Buy a Ticket

An Excerpt from "Being Here, Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment ."

Our assistant, Christina, came to work in the office one Saturday and we noticed that she seemed a bit subdued. She didn't look like her beautiful, lively self and so we sat down with her over a cup of coffee and asked if everything was all right. Christina began to cry and through the sniffles and tears we sorted out what seemed to be the crux of the matter. She was feeling lonely and wanted a boyfriend, someone who she could spend time with, someone who would love her and touch her and be there and yes, someone she could fall in love with – someone she could marry.

Over the course of the conversation, it became apparent that after her last relationship had dissolved she was so disappointed that she had retreated into herself. Even though she was the one to end things with her previous boyfriend, after the initial burst of energy that came from being honest and telling the truth she felt drained and sad and frankly unattractive.

So sitting at our dining room table, we told her a story:

There once was a man who wanted so badly to win the Lotto that he complained to God on a daily basis. His complaint went something like this:

"Oh, God! Why won't you let me win the Lotto? Do you hate me? I really need that money and if you were a kind God you would have me win. If you were a fair God, surely you would support me. If you were a just God, you would make sure I would have the winning numbers. Please God, let it be today."

And every day the man would watch the television or look in the newspaper to see the Lotto results. And after seeing the results, he would say, "God, Dear God, why didn't you let me win?"

And as this story goes, every day the man's routine was the same. He would come home from work, turn on the TV and look to see the Lotto results. And every day the results were the same, he did not win. And every day the man complained to God, that God must hate him because he had not given him the money that he so justly deserved

One night, after going through his ritual of watching the Lotto results, from the comfort of his recliner, this poor fellow once again begins his lament.

"Oh, God, Oh, God, Why?"

Suddenly a voice came to him pleading for help. It was large and booming and seemed to emanate from all directions at once. Thinking someone was behind him the man quickly looked behind his chair but no one was there.

"Help Me!" the voice boomed again and frightened now he jumped out of his LazyBoy and frantically looked around the room for the person who was calling for help and yet he couldn't locate the source.

Finally, the man realized the voice must be coming from heaven. Certain that his prayers had finally been heard he fell to his knees, sure that now with divine intervention all of his prayers would be answered.

Once again, the voice boomed out, reverberating through the house.

"Help Me!" the voice entreated, "Help Me! Please...Buy a ticket!"

"Christina," we said, "If you want to win the lottery, you need to buy a ticket. If you want to get hit by a bus, you don't stand in the woods. If you want to get a date, you can't sit at home and expect someone who has never met you to call." We told her that if she wanted to find a boyfriend, she needed to take the actions to make it happen.

Christina was heartened by the conversation. That night she began to buy her own ticket by joining an online dating service and actually looking around when she was out at the available men in her environment rather than hiding behind her eyes, a smile masking her disappointment and ideas of undesirability.

One thing led to another and Christina started to participate in her own life. She found a flyer to learn how to train for a marathon and raise money to fight cancer at the same time. During training and at activities having to do with the marathon Christina realized that she was surrounded by men, many of them available. Yet she didn't regularly have dates. So we suggested to her that she practiced flirting. A smile here and there and then be being present for the response. In fact, we suggested that she flirt everywhere. Be interested and engaged and talk to people whether it was in line at the bank or to the postal agent or the person who was serving her a coffee at Starbucks. It didn't matter if the person was male or female. It wasn't about getting married, just as when you buy a lottery ticket you don't expect each time that you will win the whole pot. The important thing was playing the game. Her chances improved each time she "bought a ticket".

Christina has been dating now. She hasn't yet found the man of her dreams but we dare say that if she keeps investing , she has a much better chance than someone who plays Lotto. If you want to have a chance at your dreams , you can't sit on the LazyBoy of life and expect that God will intervene.