A Step Towards Happiness

Too many of us are operating out of a certain need despite believing we are acting in our best interest. A need for comfort, a need for achievement , a need for social acceptance, a need for a partner, and so on. As human beings we do continually create situations through our desires, which ultimately manifests and brings us temporary joy. We then move on to the next something, furthering our perceived upward movement toward accomplishing our next "x"--whatever "x" means to you. Then we reach these goals and still, many remain unhappy.
Many more truly have given up on this "illusive notion" and claim they don't believe it's possible. How many people do you know, and including yourself, after having reached these goals, met their needs, fulfill their desires still remain unhappy? Their intentions were there right from the start, and the process was set in motion until they achieved. What went wrong? Why are so many people depressed, or stressed out these days? Where is the happiness ? Not the short term excitement, but enthusiasm coated with pure happiness . What's the secret?

Through my studies and in my practice, I have found that when we respond to the world around us from our true self, who we are, what we are, and accepting what is, only then can one experience not only self-love but also happiness. It maybe cliché to add but it is a fact: Loving yourself, for who and what you are, only then can you come to love others and share with others. Otherwise, like an empty vessel, one is limited to their desires, impulses, and false intentions. How straight are you about you? What kind of mask(s) do you wear for the world to see?

When you wear these masks, you repress who you really are and with it comes a price--there is always a price. For many it's unhappiness with a seam made of frustration, resentment, jealousy, anger, depression and so on. In addition, acting from falsehood makes you want to escape from this world to rejuvenate, to recoup, becauseof exhaustion. It does take a lot of energy when we are playing a certain role, performing under the mask, escaping pain. How can this process of being result in happiness ?

Here are some types of masks:
Victim Mask--where one is not responsible and puts the blame on others.Excuses surface and sympathy is demanded. It's everyone else who has done them wrong.
Workaholic Mask--Attempting to avoid something in life--possibly intimacy or intimate interactions make them feel uncomfortable. These people often create a financial situation or reality that justifies the work.
Gregarious Mask--A way people avoid their issues, or confrontations. These people always have a clear comeback, filled with witty remarks. It's all to deflect real contact. Fear of others finding out the real person behind the "good time Charlie" stigma.

These are just some examples of how we push away true happiness melted between unresolved pain. How can there be any hope for happiness when one is living this type of existence?

The path to happiness is truly living your life from the real core, the real center, your heart, the real you. Dropping masks, accepting unalterable realities (income tax, traffic, policies) stop trying to control situations/people or their reactions to you and stop seeking or expecting approval. These factors will take you off the path of experiencing true happiness. If you think you can't live differently, the real you knows better!

Dr.Lilian Eden www.asklilian.com