3 Tips to Getting Your Marriage Back on Course

Marriage, just like growing old, isn’t for wimps. At least if you want one that’s healthy, happy, and lasts. And, it’s true that getting a derailed marriage back on track can be one of the most challenging, if not trying things you’ll ever do. But, believe me, there are many dividends when you seek to improve your number one relationship. This article will give you some vital tools for transforming your marriage from one that drives you crazy to one that leaves you coming back for more, day after day, year in and year out.

Although you wouldn’t know it by looking at celebrity marriages, when you took your vows, you made a commitment before God to your partner. If I remember correctly, marriages are to last a lifetime, not until someone better comes along. The most important thing you can do for your relationship, whether or not you’ve got kids, is make a genuine commitment to each other.

That means that when the going gets tough, you’re still around, and haven’t moved on to another, more convenient or exciting relationship. A marriage where both partners have few doubts about commitment is one that has staying power. If yours doesn’t, make that change now and watch what happens.

Actions speak louder than words, especially today. That may make your marriage particularly difficult when one or both partners has a bad attitude . It may not be obvious but rather take the form of bitterness, resentment, or unforgiveness.

This may make it extremely challenging for you to make changes in how you speak to your spouse, for instance, or to believe that your marriage is worth working on, when the other person treats you the same way as always. However, if you keep at it, and take consistent action, your spouse may eventually notice your efforts, and start making some changes of their own.

So many couples just put up with their marriage, in particular, after developing unhealthy behavior patterns that make the relationship barely tolerable. If you’ve gotten into a rut over the years, it may be especially painful for you to continue to endure that when your spouse refuses to change. That’s why perseverance is so important. Perseverance is yet another way you can keep your marriage headed in the direction you wan to go.

Let me encourage you to keep at it, as the odds are in your favor. You obviously saw something in your partner that caused you to get married in the first place. With undying perseverance to recover that lost love, over time, it is possible to get back. Otherwise, you face a dim future. Those who divorce and enter into a 2nd or third marriage face terrible prospects: almost a 70% chance of divorce the 2nd go around and about 75% on attempt number three.

Depending upon how far you’ve let things go, you could be looking at months or even years of work, so patience is a huge requirement if you want to mend your marriage. It’s not going to happen overnight, that’s for sure. Both you and your spouse have weaknesses or faults.

Instead of hammering on them, or criticizing and complaining about them, try something different. Be patient with their shortcomings, gracious with the words you speak, and actions you take. Instead of being negative, be positive. Instead of criticizing, try encouraging. Whatever you decide to do, it all starts with the decision to be patient in your relationship.

Although it seems that marriage is a dying institution in the United States, my guess is that yours, like mine, is worth saving. While these ingredients -- patience, perseverance, a commitment to your spouse, and ongoing action to make it work -- may not be all you’ll need to create the perfect marriage, they form the cornerstone of a happy relationship, no matter how far off track you find yours. Making a happy, healthy marriage takes ongoing effort. And it starts with you.